


Calloused hand

by howtodothis



Series: one shots [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt Sirius Black, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Love, M/M, Oneshot, Regulus Black Feels, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:47:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29683500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howtodothis/pseuds/howtodothis
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: one shots [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2062875
Kudos: 21





	Calloused hand

“Moony? Are you in here?” 

He could hear Peter shout through the library, then the sound of Pince hitting him with a bookbook hitting his head.

“Pete, in the corner” He says back and seconds later, a chubby, little blonde head pokes in through the shelves, but nstead of the small, shy smile he's used too, Remus meets a pair of concerned eyes. 

“What the hell have you guys done now” He immediately says and starts packing up his books. He's always packing up his books lately, with the pranks the boys have done and the little time he has to do them with them. 

“It's Sirius, he got a letter from the Blacks.” Peter says, panting from probably running around the school to find him. 

Remus stops in his tracks. There hasn't been a letter from the blacks in two years, not since he finally got out in the summer of fifth year. When they disowned him and wrote about how he could never come back and how he will suffer for trying to get Regulus to come with him. 

“Fuck, where is he?”

“Bathroom, won't let us in. Not even James.” 

“Take my stuff back will you?” Remus says, hurrying past his friend and heading for the dorm. His hands are sweating and he feels his tie tighten on his throat. He starts to jog.  
When he opens the door to their room, the first thing he sees is furniture. Furniture everywhere. Most of it broken in some way. It's mostly Sirius' things that is broken, his bed is a mess. Remus' nostrils twitch and the smell of iron and pain shoots its way through his nose.

“Moony, thank god.”  
It's James who breaks his concentration. He's standing by the bathroom door with the same tormented look as Peter. Only much, much worse. 

“He won't come out. Not since he got the letter in the dining hall.”

“It wasn't a howler was it?” Remus says. He doesn't want to think about the memory of last time that happened. 

“No, but I don't think it mattered. I've never seen him so angry”

“What did it say? The letter?”

James shrugs

“It isn't good for him to be alone now. It wil only make it worse, we both know that.” Remus says, thinking of Sirius alone in the bathroom. 

“I know, but he won't open. Won't even answer. He just walked calmly out of the dining hall. Didn't make frown before he got here and then he just went crazy. Screamed and cried and tried to burn this whole place to the ground.”

“Bloody hell. I'll try.” Remus says, walking slowly to the door and knocking as soft as he can. 

“Just go away James. I want to be alone” He hears sirius call out through the door. His voice sounds scratchy and sore.

“It’s not James” Remus says, “and I don’t think you want to be alone” 

There’s a soft click and Remus gives James a thumbs up as he opens the door. 

He finds Sirius hunched over on the floor. His back against the cold tiles and his hair a proper mess.  
“Oh Sirius” Remus says, looking at his bloody knuckles. He opens his own bath bag and pulls out what he needs: cotton, cleansing oil, bandages. Sirius watches him silently as he sits down on the floor in front of him and pulls one of his hands into his lap. 

“Why don’t you just spell them?” Sirius says as he starts cleaning the blood. 

“I kind of like doing it this way. Makes you feel the pain a bit of what you’ve done, and sometimes magic doesn’t heal that well.” Remus say, ignoring how he wants to cry at the pain he feels through Sirius. “I can do it with Magic? If you want,”

“No don't!” Sirius says, interrupting him and then immediately blushing. Remus huffs out a laugh, “okay, I won’t” It earns him a shy smile. They stay silent while Remus works. Slowly cleaning and bandaging each part and stopping every time Sirius shows a sign of pain. 

“There, it's done.” He says and the boy studies his hands in awe. 

“It looks pretty badass” Sirius says. 

“It looks pretty dumb” Remus says and they both laugh. Their hands bumping into each other once in a while. 

“Now, do you want to talk about it?” Remus eventually says, calming down enough to ask. Sirius looks up at him with shining eyes and the laughter is already forgotten. 

“They're taking him out of school,” He says slowly. Remus guesses his next words in an instant as they say it together, “they're making him one of them” Sirius nods and then. Then he falls apart in Remus' arms. Remus takes him in and holds him. Strokes his back. His hair. Say all the soothing things he can. 

He doesn't tell him that it will sort itself out, because he has seen what the dark does to other people from school joining. He has seen what the war does to people.  
Instead he says: “Sirius, can you look me in the eyes?” and he does. His eyes are red, puffy and devastatingly beautiful. Carefully, Remus wipes the tears away and instead of removing them, he holds his face in his hands. “Sirius Orion Black, you are the strongest person I know. You have experienced so many things that you don't deserve and still, still you smile, you laugh, you stay as a good, no, a bloody fantastic human being.”

Sirius tries to look away, shy, but Remus holds him and meets his eyes again. “You don't tolerate people being bullied and harassed. You have defended me on more than one occasion. Sirius, you are so kind and funny and so charming and hot that you could pick and chose any fucking girl in this castle. You will get through this and I will help you in any way that I can okay? Just as you helped me through first year, and the year after that and then every fucking year after that again. I would probably not be here today if it wasn't for you, and that means something. I love you and you will get through this.” 

“Oh Moony” Is all Sirius can say before letting a couple more tears fall down his cheek. 

“Okay?” Remus says again, arching his brows.

“Okay.” 

“Good.” Remus says, nodding and letting his hands fall. He doesn't expect it when Sirius catches them. His hands feel rough and calloused against Sirius', but he won't remove them. Not even for the world. He would cling to them every moment of every day if he could. Hold them in his own, stroke and touch them so much his own hands would eventually disappear into them. 

“Remus?” Sirius says, intruding his thoughts and making him look up at him again. 

“Yeah?” He says. His mouth feels dry. 

“You know how you just said I was charming? And hot?” He says as he starts painting circles into Remus' palm. If Remus didn't feel so much for the boy right now, he would probably kick his face for the smile he carries. 

“No, what do you mean?” He says as nonchalant as he possibly can and rolls his eyes. Sirius laughs softly. 

“What if I don't want to pick and choose the girls here?”

“Then you go to hogsmeade and charm the ones there.” Remus says, not understanding what Sirius wants to say. 

“No, I mean,” Sirius says, removing his hands and before Remus can reject, places them on his face and kisses him soundly, softly, wonderfully on the lips. Remus doesn't know how to react before they're gone and Sirius is looking down at the tiles. 

“Sorry Moons, I didn't, well, I” He says, mumbling his way through the sentence. All while Remus stares at him with big eyes. 

“Can you just not?” Remus says, taking Sirius' hands in his again. A new decisiveness forming in his gut. Fighting its way up to the surface. 

“Not what?”

“Not be sorry.” Remus says, and before he can stop himself, he kisses Sirius right on the mouth. His hand tangling itself in his hair, stroking his cheek. Sirius seems to wake up after a second and gives as much as he takes. Remus feels him everywhere. In his own hair, on his own cheeks, over his body, in his blood for god's sake. He feels Sirius pumping his blood and heart and veins, and Remus never wants to let it go. 

He doesn't know how long it has been, but one of them eventually backs away a couple of centimeters. They end up forehead to forehead, panting and smiling dumbly at each other. 

“Fucks sake Remus. I should get letters more often telling me about how my brother is a death eater and how we're probably going to fight in a war against each other.” Sirius says, his curls falling into Remus as he laughs. They both know that this won't fix everything. And they both know that the joke is a big old lie, but they don't care. Not right now.


End file.
